Dating

I'm having a hard time figuring out this whole dating thing. A lot of these guys on dating sites seem just plain strange.

There are 2 million people on this dating site, maybe 300 that match your self-determined criteria regarding age, location, non-smoker, etc. Eliminate the ones with the two-line, misspelled, non-punctuated profile; now you're down to 30. Of those, anyone who appears to be older than my dad gets the old heave-ho. Leaving me with 10 possibles.

With odds like that, there's no way to be too choosy about looks or common interests. You start relying on the chance that he'll clean up okay, and you'll find some things to do together that are tolerable for both.

That only-slightly-creepy guy with the bags under his eyes, whose photos all seem to have been taken at a carnival, with an outdated wardrobe, and a motorcycle (an unexpected bonus) is lookin' dang good. I send him a little note, saying hello.

His response is a somewhat crude one liner, an attempt to be coy. Seriously? I'm 47. You've likely got a deteriorating liver and one foot in the grave. Coyness doesn't seem like the called for thing here.

I just wanted a motorcycle ride, so I can make use of the leather jackets, chaps, helmet, boots and gloves I bought to ride with the last guy I dated. Wait - does anyone have a snowmobile? I have all new gear for that too, only used once!