During the course of my newish single life, (thus far - two years and four months) I've had a number of suggested 'dating-possibles' from people who know me. People who know me really well.

And while I greatly appreciate the thought behind it, there are some dating scenarios that just don't work for me. Tops on that list are the following:

* Ex-family dating:
I will never, ever, be dating anyone from my ex's family, no matter if they're the last date on earth. That's not to say that my ex family is not perfectly nice. In fact, they're wonderful people. But once married, always family, as I see it. That's far too creepy of a road to peer down, no matter how lovely the sunset at the end. So, please - no one who has the same last name as mine.

* The He-Does-Have-A-Lot-Of-Issues-But-He's-A-Really-Nice guy:
HellooOoo. Issues = Uh uh. So, no thank you. I'm dating, not desperate.

* The I'm-Not-Sure-Why-He's-Been-Single-All-These-Years guy:
There is a reason.

* The I-Know-Him-From-The-Bar guy:
Unless it's the bar association, no. (And maybe not even then.)

* The Completely-Nothing-In-Common date suggestion:
Look, I love when people care enough to think about whether they know someone I might be interested in. But the key phrase there is 'interested in.' Just last week one of my very close friends (who knows me well) said, "What about Dale?" (Names have been changed to protect the innocent...)
I said I don't know any Dale.

Thence ensues a back and forth conversation:
"Yes you do. You know, Dale, Dirty Dale."
"No I don't."
"Yes you do. Remember when we saw him at Bogarts?"
"Ohhhh, THAT Dale..." Some split second reactions took place in my head: disappointment/annoyance/sadness. Was my good friend really thinking I'd be interested in Dale? We had not a zippin' thing in common, perhaps not the least of all was that Dale has the cranium power of a pair of socks. Or maybe one sock. I'm not trying to be mean here, just telling the truth. I was sad that my good friend apparently knew me so much less than I'd thought.

* The ex boyfriend's good friend:
No. And please stop calling me.